Issue 13

May 2004

When you need to know the news, read the Nulla-Noos

Issue No: 13 … and if you're superstitious, it could be an unlucky edition for you to read, so use caution.

For Spider and Radar, it was an unlucky ride to Geelong for the Victorian State Rally because they never made it.

I think that having a crash before they even got to Adelaide would definitely be the "highlight" of the journey.

But thankfully, and more importantly, apart from the bikes being damaged, they have survived their ordeal and both will ride again.

By now, the wounds would've healed and the bikes should be on their way to being totally repaired, ready for the next big ride across the country to Tasmania.

Hopefully, if all goes well with the repairs, they will still be joining us on the Tassie run.


MEDICAL FACT No: 42

NEVER HOLD YOUR FARTS IN ….

They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from ……


In with this edition, you will find your membership renewals as memberships expire at the end of April.

It would be appreciated if you could return them to me as quickly as possible so I can get the records updated.

And if you want to include your Tassie balances at that same time, you are welcome to include it all in one payment.

An EFT payment direct into the Nullaboys account is fine too.


I was sitting here typing this newsletter out, and started to think how bad my life was turning out.

Then I started think about the life of a egg. Don't laugh yet, think about it, and consider the facts.

As an egg, you only get laid once, and you only get eaten once too.

It takes four minutes to get hard and only two minutes to get soft, and you've gotta share your box with 11 others.

But worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.

Hmmm, compared to the egg, I don't think my life has turned out that bad after all…..


A rumour hot off the press is the next National HOG Rally is going to be held in Alice Springs around September 2005.

And if this proves to be true, we might have to plan another ride, just around the block ??


The run to the Buick Car Museum at Mandalay on Sunday was a great day, although a bit humid.

Well worth the $5 entry fee to have a look around at a passion gone right off the rails.

The setting of Mandalay was beautiful, with manicured gardens, stream-fed trout ponds and huge grassed areas shaded by trees and palms.

Restored Buick vehicles dating back to 1910 were on show, and nearly all had been restored to their original condition by members of the club.

Restoration was obviously a passion shared by many of the people that attended. This was shown by the class of vehicles in the car park alone.

A fleet of Rolls-Royce's, parked next to some old Valiant's, Ford's and Holden's graced the grassed parking area.

Members of the HOG Club coming back from the breakfast run arrived shortly after we did, so we mingled and chatted whilst viewing the display with them.

The sausage sizzle and cool drinks area was welcomed by all, and we had our fill of food before leaving the site for home at around 12.30.

I think a good day was enjoyed by all that attended.


A man escapes from prison where he has been incarcerated for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money, guns and a set of car keys for his getaway and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband says to his beautiful wife " Listen honey, this guy has escaped from prison, look at his clothes. He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years."

"I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you to do, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is damned dangerous so just give him satisfaction and we'll be okay. Be strong honey, I love you."

To which the wife responds, " He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He said he was gay and that he thought you were cute and wanted to know if we kept any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom cupboard.

Be strong honey, I love you too ……."


We had an invite from 4X to attend the Jet Boat Racing down at Baldivis a couple of weekends ago, and although not many members turned up, I took the chance to check out the event with my son, Luke.

We had a great night, and were well rewarded for our attendance with free entry, seating in the VIP section, a meal with free drinks and a great night viewing of the racing to be had.

If the chance of attending again comes around next season, it's an event I hope you will consider attending as it's a different, yet entertaining night of "motor-sport", or is it "boating".

4X is the major sponsor to the WA Jet Sprint Racing Club, and as such has seats available you his friends, so I'm sure he could accommodation a group of Nulla's turning up for the night.

My thanks go to Mark [ 4X ] for his hospitality and look forward to attending again sometime when the new season starts again next year.


And you can thank Doc for this one.

Two builders, Phil & Eric, are sitting in a rough pub when this well-dressed man enters the room, orders a beer and sits at the end of the bar.

Phil & Eric start to speculate what the man in the suit does for a living.

Phil: I reckon he's an accountant…

Eric: No way !! He's a stockbroker…

Phil: Nah, he's no stockbroker, they wouldn't come into a place like this.
This argument continues for some time, until Phil needs to relieve himself and heads for the toilet.

In the toilet he sees the suit standing at the urinal and confronts the man politely asking for his occupation.

The suit replies that he is a Logical Scientist, to which Phil answers that he's never heard of such a job, and then inquires as to what it entails.

Suit: I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home??

Phil: Umm, well, yes I do as it happens

Suit: Well, it's logical that you keep it in a bowl or a pond then. Which is it ??

Phil: It's in a pond.

Suit: Well, it's logical to assume that you have a large yard for this pond.

Phil: As it happens, Yes, I do.

Suit: And in this area, that probably means you have a large house as well.

Phil: Too bloody right, 5 bedrooms, built it myself.

Suit: And it's logical that you don't live in this big house on your own, so you're probably married and have children too.

Phil: Yeap, married with 3 kids.

Suit: And as you have 3 kids, it's logical to assume you have an active sex life too.

Phil: Yeap, 4 times a week.

Suit: And so it's logical to assume that you do not masturbate either.

Phil: Me, never, no need too

Suit: Well, there you have it, Logical Science at work.

Phil: How do you mean ??

Suit: From a simple question about a goldfish to now knowing your sex life.

Phil: Oh yeah, I get it now. Gees mate, that's pretty impressive. Thanks for explaining it to me.

Both leave the toilet and Phil goes back to his mate at the bar.

Eric: Did you ask the suit what he did for a living ??

Phil: Yeap, he's a Logical Scientist.

Eric: What the hell is that.

Phil: Let me explain by example. Do you have a Goldfish at home??

Eric: Nope.

Phil: Well mate, you're a Wanker.


Most of you are aware of the problems we, as a group, have had in the past with the Perth HOG Chapter, and I know that some of you have let your memberships lapse over the way we, as financial members of the chapter, have been treated.

Most of you have declined renewal because previous committees have looked upon us with complete distain, and, on occasion, certain members made it more than obvious that members of the Nullaboys were not welcome on their rides.

Well, guess what !!! The times, they are a changing ……

The new committee has come in with a new outlook, and I have noticed an immediate about face towards this group, and it's members, in particular at the meeting.

WHY ??? Who knows, maybe it has to something do with their falling membership numbers, or maybe they've realised that we just won't go away as they have wanted us too for so bloody long.

I have also had a talk with some of the committee and I must say that I have been impressed with their change of attitude towards us, both as HOG members and as fringe dwelling Nullaboys.

The things that have grieved us for so long in the past have either been or will be addressed in the future, and I'm confident that we, as both Perth members and as Nullaboys, will be welcome to attend any run or meeting in the future.

It is because of this new committee's acceptance of the Nullaboys that I have decided to renew my local membership again, and I now encourage all local members of the Nullaboys to consider doing the same.

Of course, this is entirely at your own decision, but I ask you, before making your choice, to come along to the next HOG meeting and see the change in attitude for yourself first hand.

I'm sure that you will agree that things have changed, and that we are not seen as those bloody Nullaboys any more.

The next HOG meeting is May 10th at the Harp Tavern - Grandstand Road - Belmont.

And I'll even buy you a drink if you turn up …… SHIT, that doesn't happen to often, does it ??

I'll see you there…….


Well, I've had my say once again, and I've had enough of trying to think of what to write just to fill up this issue.

So, the rest of this page is going to be just a blank piece of paper.

Maybe you can use it as a note pad, or maybe write a little letter to me so I can use it in the next Nulla-Noos.

Or maybe you'll just screw it all up and throw it in the bin after you've read it. Who cares ………

Winters nearly upon us, so ride safe……. until next time

Wiz …..


Sorry, I need this space now.

If you don't pay your membership by the end of May, this will be the last Nulla-Noos you will receive.

But I can promise that you will get a shit-load of abusive telephone calls if you don't.

Trust me, it'll be easier on everyone to just send the $20 now and get it over and done with…… Good Onya…

 


Your President & Editor & Functions
Manager & Ride Organiser & Complaint
Officer and General Dogsbody